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Struggling with depression or thoughts of suicide?
Download the free eBook "Building a Foundation for Happiness" by Dennis Liegghio HERE.-
Recent Posts
- Youth Empowers Awareness!
- One Morning. 2,000 Conversations.
- Rock n’ Locks … a night of music, hair and hope!
- Rock n’ Locks … a night of music, hair and hope!
- Behind Every Smile
- PSA for KnowResolve airing now on CW50 and CBS Detroit!
- Join us for our 3rd Annual Youth Empowers Awareness 5k Walk for Suicide Prevention at L’Anse Creuse High School North
- 3rd Annual Youth Empowers Awareness 5k Walk for Suicide Prevention at L’Anse Creuse High School North
- New Promo Video!
- Stigma
Dennis, You came to my school today for the Suicide and depression presentation. We were in a room filled with my classmates and fellow teachers, but when you were speaking, everyone disappeared and I felt as if you were speaking directly to me. Reaching deep down inside the person I am and pulling out all of my words, frustrations, fears, and confusions. My best friend died by committing suicide. My mother tried to take her life. I also had a long childhood filled with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. I was put into anger management at the age of 11 because i was angry at the world. At my parents. At myself. I couldn’t cope with what had happened to me during my childhood. It was a vicious memory constantly on repeat inside of my head. Little do people know, behind my smile i am someone who is pushing through depression. I am pushing through agony and bitterness and fear. I have contemplated suicide 3 times the past 2 years, and have thought about dying and wondering who would care almost every single day for the past 4 years of my life. No one would guess that, but when you were speaking and glancing around at everyone including myself, i felt like you saw right through my facade. You understood. I was crying and extremely upset while you were telling your story. It gripped me at the core and yanked out all these feelings that i have been shoving down to the pits of myself for all of these years. I let it all out. I connected. i felt understood. I didn’t feel afraid anymore. I didn’t feel angry, or hurt, or bitter. I felt relieved. I felt more than i ever have before, Hopeful. I thank you for every single word you said because they will be playing in my mind for years to come. I am going to get through this. I can do it. I know i can because look at you. You’ve inspired me and taught me how beautiful life really is, and can be if you choose to live it fully. I will live it with my whole heart. From now on, even when times get tough. I know I can, thanks to you. God bless you.
Dear Dennis, you recently spoke at our Survivors of Suicide group (through Common Ground). I wanted to personally thank you and I applaud your strength and courage for speaking out so honestly. I wish you much success in your mission and I also work daily to remove the stigma from mental illness, speaking about suicide, and reaching out for help. God bless!
Terrie
Dear Dennis & Co:
It’s been some time since I’ve seen you play, and I’m far from my university where I heard you speak (Cambodia, actually), but the other day I found myself thinking about you and KnowResolve.
I remember how empathetically you spoke of people thinking about suicide, and how you never trivialized people’s feelings. I feel grateful that there are advocates for people suffering from depression like you, who will support them and give them space for their feelings and needs.
I hope to see info posted for your upcoming Battle of the Bands soon, so I can let all my friends know about it! They are all music-lovers. I won’t be able to, myself, as Cambodia is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump from Michigan, but I hope many of my friends will go in my stead.
Keep up the good work!
~Liz
I have learned many things from the ups and downs of life. I have learned I can survive… almost anything. I have also learned I take all emotions and stressers out on myself, and I am my biggest fan and worst critic.
I have battles depression and while I never considered suicide, I had a severe eating disorder for most of middle school and high school. The hardest battle I ever had to face, it was a stress reliver and gave me relief in times that were too difficult to deal with. I hold everything inside, deal with it on my own, rather than try to talk to someone for guidance.
The reason I turn to this form of self destruction I may never know. But while I beat it, I have had severalrelapses over the years. Sometimes I forsaw it coming, other times it snuck up on me. Whatever the cause, I have always overcome it and found other ways to help relieve the stress.
A big thing for me is writing, I write to get my emotions out, to tell the truth, even when I don’t want to accept it, and to tell stories of my past to ensure I never forget and never go back. I live with no regrets for what I have done, just written reminds what I never want to go back to.
Dennis, You came to are school today, and i loved the presentation you gave. I loved listening to your life story about your dad, it touched me. I was very surprised that you had the courage to get up their and tell us all about that. I would have never been able to do that. You are a awesome singer and guitar player. I used to be able to play the guitar but not as good as you! I’ve had a grand mother that has died and she was just like my mom because my real mother wasn’t around. I always thought that it was my fault because I was sick and I would sleep with her every night. But then a couple weeks later, after I got better my grandma got sick. My dad and I took her to the doctor and they couldn’t find a sickness. So she got transferred to a bunch of hospitals and eventually at one hospital she died. Then life went bumpy from there on. But lifes getting alot better since I’ve been talking to my mom more often now. -Shannon <3
Dennis,I have seen you twice you came here and to warren woods middle i love all the things you say about preventing suicide and all that.I just wanted to let you know that one of my family members died from suicide. Also I just wanted to let you know that your story touched me where I’ve never been touched before like that you are a great singer and all that i know how you feel.
I really liked your speech and presentation today Dennis. Ive said somethings to my mom that now I really wish i could take back. I could never picture losing my mother or father to suicide. You really are a strong person in my eyes, your songs really touched my heart as well. I’m deffiently surprized you didnt shed a tear cause you really had me crying. I really wish i had a way to get over my depression about moving but i really dont have a way to get over everything. Lifes difficult but after your speech i really think i can do something more productive with my anger and depression. i feeel like there is no one to talk to about my problems but you said if i can trust an adult i could tell them about whats going on in my life. Thank you for coming to share your heartfelt story with me and my peers. – Ling
Ling, In addition to talking to an adult you trust look on this site for tools too. Under the “Empower Yourself” link above in the menu across the top of this page. There are some great tooks like creating a safety plan and such. Also feel free to email me if you need to talk. I have struggled with depression for quite some time. Good luck!
Rachael
I go to North Star Academy and i really like your message because you really got to a lot of us, like we were all crying, your really did get to me i personally have never ever been in a situation when i tried or was going to kill myself but if i or anyone else i know were to attempt such a permenet non needed act i would know what to do,i enjoyed your song and your message really affected me so thank;)
In 2005 I lost someone very dear to me, my uncle. I can remember the day that it had happened. The worry in my nana’s voice when she yelled at my little sister & older brother for us to get in the car. My uncle had only lived on the opposite end of the street than my nana. But my nana must have been doing 80 down that street. My siblings and I sitting in the back seat, crying & worried. We had NO idea what was going on. We just knew something was not right. Later on the news broke out to us, my uncle had died. It wasn’t till a few years later when my nana had a sit down talk with us explaining that what he had done, & why he had done it. It is still a very rough subject to talk about. But Im 12 now, & Dennis came to our school, as i sat there…all this kept running through my head, how sad i was that my uncle isn’t with us anymore. I just got through a sort of state of depression I guess you could call it, all the stress in my life, another person i wont have to see me graduate. It hurts to know what a strong & hurtful thing suicide is. I just wish he could of gotten some help, maybe he would of changed his mind. I love you Uncle Scott & I miss you very much. Theres not a day in my life that you haven’t crossed my mind.
- Your niece, Courtney
I have crawled my way through depression 2 times. The first memory I have of it getting bad was in 6th grade. A friend showed me how to burn myself using a pen in school. If you rubbed the pen fast enough on paper it will heat up hot enough to burn you. I did that so many times that today I still have scars from it. I did it for years until it led to cutting my arms and legs. It was not an attention thing, it was a feeling thing. It is hard to explain how my depression controlled me, but it did. It was like I was extra sensitive to every day events and everything hurt me worse then it hurt others. It got even worse when I broke up with my first “real boyfriend” in high school. I couldn’t handle the feeling of not being loved by him. It wasn’t just relationships though, it was everything. I just was so depressed. I remember thinking back then how my life would play out, and how it would eventually end with dying and the thought of not having to live anymore was like a sigh of relief. I was never suicidal, it just hurt so much to live and breath that I was comforted by the thought that one day it would all be over. Things started to hurt me so bad that I eventually numbed myself and didn’t let anything in. Eventually the cutting started to feel better then the nothing I was feeling and I used that as an outlet. Around 10th grade I became very involved in my church and was “saved.” I thought I had beat the system. I stopped cutting, I started feeling and things really looked up.
Then college happened. It was like a relapse. I went away to school and started dating a guy. I was in love and swore this was the man I was going to marry. Then he cheated on me and dumped me. It was like my first break up all over again. And the first place I ran was to the cutting again. It hurt so bad that I numbed myself again. And again the cutting filled that void of nothingness I was feeling. When I wasn’t cutting I was sleeping 16-20 hours a day. The hours I chose to be awake where when everyone else was sleeping. I missed classes and eventaully ended up back at my parents house.
By some act of God I found one of the world’s best therapists. He was amazing in that he too suffered from depression. His understanding of my illness came from more then just books on how the brain functions and what I was lacking. And here I am 8 years later not cutting. I wont say my depression is gone, but I know how to deal with it now. That therapist gave me one of the greatest gifts I could ever ask for. He taught me how to live with my illness. He was the first person to properly diagnose me with a borderline personality disorder and the only person who thought I could be treated without drugs. Not that medication is bad, it just was not the route for me. Much of my depression comes from events in my life and as unfortunate as the events were, what is more unfortunate is how they have forever scared me. But being able to live my day to day life as that scared person and not cut, and not be in that constant fog of emptiness is huge.
What I have learned is that it is important to feel every emotion and not to fear your emotions. I got comfortable in my depression. I remember not wanting to get better because I didn’t know who I was without it. But once I started feeling again, I started to realize I would come through it and there was light at the end of every dark tunnel I had. I also learned that to feel something other then depressed I had to let go of my depression.
I also learned how to cope with my depression. I learned what triggers it, what to do if it gets bad, who to call if I need to talk and how to prepare for it. I still have bad days, but my bad days are far less because I see them coming and know how to deal with them.
Three Things I Learned on My Way Back:
1) I did not LOSE control of my life. I NEVER HAD control of my life. Things happen that are beyond my control. Instead of trying to control my whole life, I will focus on what I CAN control — my breathing, my words, my behavior, and my thoughts.
2) Thinking “I can’t stand this” does not help. I CAN stand it. I am standing it right now. So breathe it out, center myself, breathe it out. All is well. All is well. Breathe.
3) Painful memories nagged and nagged at me. I’d be driving or showering or working or whatever, and suddenly I’d start remembering how badly someone hurt me and I’d feel just like it was happening all over again. So here’s what I learned to do (and this is really really hard at first): Every time I’d think about a person who had hurt me, I’d bless that person. Really. I’d say, “bless (person’s name) with healing and all good things.” And then I’d bless myself with the same words. Pretty soon I found that the thoughts weren’t coming as often. Maybe I was forgiving. Maybe I just didn’t want to have to bless those people anymore! Either way — ahhh, peace.
In one year: (2007)
• My wife divorced me, and took my life savings.
• 90% of my company was no longer mine, on a technicality.
• My apartment was destroyed, so I slept and showered in the warehouse.
• All my employees, led by my good friend and VP, led a mutiny against me. (I never returned, and never saw them again.)
• I invested everything I had left in a very conservative fund, which fell 50% immediately, and never came back.
• I invested everything I had left in a different conservative fund, which also fell 50%, and never came back.
• The woman I was madly in love with married the guy she would always complain to me about.
Two weeks after that year ended, three companies called asking if I wanted to sell my company. Though I had said no to that question for ten years, this time I said yes.
I had messed up so bad, I had to walk away. I had done everything wrong, and needed to cleanse myself of all those bad decisions. I needed to take some time to learn from my mistakes, and replace my thoughts with new ones. A self-made back-to-schooling.
I look back at that year, and know it won’t get much worse. If I can handle that, I can handle anything.
The company sale was announced. The first time someone said “congratulations” I said, “For what? I messed up so bad I lost my baby. That’s nothing to congratulate.” (For future congratulations, I just shrug.)
We all underestimate our ability to massively change our life when it’s gone off track.
Say “no” where you used to say “yes”. Say “yes” where you used to say “no”. Do the thing that scares you the most, then get up and go.
For those of you considering a massive change, I can tell you from experience:
It’s awesome here on the other side. :)